| today I woke up.. more awake than I have felt in years.. |
[entries|friends|calendar] |
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| we gon have some fun tonight.. |
[17 Apr 2004|10:30am] |
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mood |
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 fucking great. |
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music |
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nelly - pimp juice. |
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oooooh my. i'm so excited right now. we're leaving for state college in a couple minutes and it's absolutely beautiful outside. i think this might just be an awesome time. i'll miss you evan! peaceout and 1.
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(2 lies | say it like you mean it)
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| thas was up |
[12 Apr 2004|06:39pm] |
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mood |
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 i'm a pirate. |
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music |
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cky - flesh into gear. |
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today was fun. work was pretty cool too, not bad at all. tonight will be fun. yeah. i forget what i was going to write in hurr. peace out playaz.
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(say it like you mean it)
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| you don't wanna fuck wit shady.. -why?-.. cuz shady.. will fuckin KILL you.. |
[24 Mar 2004|05:21pm] |
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mood |
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 i don't know. |
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music |
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eminem - who knew? |
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today i woke up at 7:49, i usually leave for work at 8:00. it was a problem, i woke up all fuckin pissed and rushed and shit and i realized how much i hate that shit. just knowing i'm going to be late for work pisses me off so bad. i HATED waking up for school like that everyday. i hated it.
even though waking up to go to work at around 7:20 is alittle later then i would wake up if i had to go to school.., like 7:10.. it feels different. maybe that's how we'll all feel in acouple years after we all (or most of us..) got jobs haha, and real lives. haa.. wierd. i guess everyone will find out. i think it feels good to wake up and go to work.
anyway, alittle bit earlier i was getting all nervous and excited about my first hockey game in awhile being tonight.. but then i started listening to eminem for no reason at all. haha..
ambie is happy as a fuckin clam. that's so cooool. AMBIE IS THAT PIMP, yall need to know this.
speaking of pimps, i hope you feel better jess. cause you need to be well for saturday haa. get well soon jess<3
haha yes. so now i'm listenin to some old ass eminem.. it's fucking awesome. so funny. oh shit this song is funny too.. i think it's called like 'who knew?' or somethin.
arrrright well it's like 5:30 and i gotta be out soon. wish me luck pimps.
fuck shit ass bich cunt shooby-de-doo-wop.
oh shiiiiit.
SHADY A PIMP. HOLLER-1
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(5 lies | say it like you mean it)
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[23 Mar 2004|06:15pm] |
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mood |
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 gr.. i'm emo. |
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music |
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incubus - just a phase. |
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last night i fucked my shit way up.
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(3 lies | say it like you mean it)
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[22 Mar 2004|11:28pm] |
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mood |
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 hungry as a muh fucka. |
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music |
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g love - I76 |
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sorry, i am so bored;
a p p e a r a n c e
height: 5'8"
hair color: dark blonde right now.
skin color: white.
eye color: brown.
r i g h t n o w
what kind of pants are you wearing?: jeans.
what song are you listening to?: sublime, badfish.
what taste is in your mouth?: some turkey hill badnesssss.
what's the weather like?: dark and windy.
how are you?: really good.
have a bad habit?: bite my nails.
like to drive?: hell yeah.
f a v o r i t e s
tv show: family guy.
conditioner: dove.
non alcoholic drink: ice tea, no NOT iced tea.
alcoholic drink: haha.. long island iced teas, what up ammmmbiee.
thing to do on the weekend: not work.
h a v e y o u
broken the law: hells no.
ran away from home: yeah for about a day when i was little.
snuck out of the house: yea.
ever gone skinny dipping: no.
ever tipped over a porter potty: yeahhhhhhh.
used your parents' credit card before: nooooooo.
skipped school before: NOOOOOO.
fell asleep in the shower/bath: nope.
been in a school play: no sir.
l o v e
girlfriend/boyfriend: no sir.
current status: hmm, single.
sexuality: straight as a uhhhh.. line.
current crush: right now? chocolate.
had a hard time getting over someone: yes.
been hurt: definitely.
your greatest regret: taking things for granted. i done stopped that shit.
gone out with someone you only knew for three days: naw.
r a n d o m
do you have a job: yea, giant.
your cd player has in it right now: sublime greatest hits.
if you were a crayon what color would you be?: green, i hope.
what makes you happy: friends, memories, really sunny days, road trips, upside down rainbow triangles, drawing, music, alot of things..
what's the next cd you're gonna get?: no doubt singles.
last time you cried: not sure.
you got a real letter?: forget.
you got an e-mail: today.
tv program you watched: the cosby show.
movie you saw in the theater: i don't even remember.
y o u r t h o u g h t s o n
abortion: pro-choice.
teenage smoking: hey it's the best days of your life. do what you want.
spice girls: fuckin PRO.
dreams: cool, but scary if you light incense right before you sleep. ah.
weed: hey it's the best days of your life. do what you want, again.
r e l a t i o n s h i p s
1. who are your best friends?: the ones who will always be there.
2. do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: no
f a s h i o n s t u f f
1. where is your favorite place to shop: urban outfitters is pimp, but real expensive. i don't really "shop" though.
s p e c i f i c s
1. do you do drugs?: uhh.. hey it's the best days of your life. do what you want, again, again.
2. what kind of shampoo do you use?: suave.
3. what are you most scared of?: ever losing the ones i love.
5. who is the last person that called you?: brandon.
6. where do you want to get married?: hmm..new jersey.
7. how many buddies are online right now?: one million.
8. what would you change about yourself?: hmm. nothin.
f a v o r i t e s
1. color: green.
2. food: chocolate, cheese puffs or hoagies.
3. boys names: wes, adon, william, and like.. link or something.
4. girls names: ariel, nevaeh, adrian, clover(chloe for short.. of course.), and eve. (i like names..)
5. subjects in school: art.
6. animals: murphy and tiger. that's it.
7. sports: hockey, tennis, and air hockey!!
h a v e y o u e v e r
1. given anyone a bath?: yeah.
2. smoked?: yeah.
3. bungee jumped?: no.
4. made yourself throw up?: no.
5. skinny dipped?: no.
6: ever been in love?: i'm still not sure about that. i think i was.
7. made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: yupp, 8th grade from that lady dr. hove. haha.
8. pictured your crush naked?: don't think so.
9. actually seen your crush naked?: no.
10. cried when someone died?: yeah.
11. lied: probably.
12. fallen for your best friend?: yup.
13. been rejected?: yup.
14. rejected someone?: yeah.
15. used someone?: no.
16. done something you regret?: can't have them.
c u r r e n t
clothes: jeans and sweater.
music: incubus.
make-up: nuttin.
annoyance: i'm too lazy to make food right now but i'm realllll hungry. how dumb is that.
smell: nothing.
favorite group: new kids. much love. hmm, right now? fugees today i guess.
desktop picture: pink floyd.
book youre reading: some psychology book.
in cd player: 80's mix.
in dvd player: family guy, season 2 i think.
l a s t p e r s o n
you touched: kristi.
hugged: kristi.
you messaged: ambie.
you yelled at: the hamburger head.
you kissed: dan, i guess. ewh.
r a n d o m
in the morning i am: happy.
all i need is: my friends.
love is: the greatest thing.
i dream about: the past and some scary freaky shit, too.
o p p o s i t e s e x
what do you notice first: smile, eyes.
last person you slow danced with: uhh, either aaron or kasidy back at that dance.
worst question to ask: "i only have 50's, what do i do?" hahaaaaa
why: that's just the way it is.
makes you laugh the most: anything usually.
makes you smile: their sense of humor or their smile.
who do you have a crush on: uhhhh.. hm. i don't fuuuuuckin know. who cayes.
who has a crush on you: you, probably. i'm rick james, bitch.
d o y o u e v e r
sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to im you?: i have in the past.
wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: yeah but only because just one time i'd like to pull the window down of the limo i'm in and yell at some people "YO! YEAH YOU WITH THE BLACK SHIRT.. YEAH, SUCK MY DICK." haha that would be awesome. i really kind of want to do that anyway.
wish you were younger: nope.
cried because someone said something to you?: yes.
n u m b e r
of times i have had my heart broken: once.
of hearts i have broken: i don't know.
of guys ive kissed: 4.
of girls ive kissed: 0.
of continents i have lived in: one.
of cds i own: a mondo humungo amount.
of scars on my body: too many to count.
f i n a l q u e s t i o n s
1. do you like fillings these out?: right now, cause i'm very bored.
2. gold or silver: silver.
3. what was the last film you saw at the movies?: forget.
7. favorite cartoon/anime?: family guy.
8. what did you have for breakfast this morning?: 2 bananas and some coffee.
10. who would you love being locked in a room with?: not sure..
11. could you live without your computer?: i could probably get by.
12. would you color your hair? yes.
13. could you ever get off the computer?: perhaps.
14. how many contacts do you have on your msn?: no msn.
15. drink alcohol? why. you got some?
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(3 lies | say it like you mean it)
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[21 Mar 2004|09:59pm] |
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mood |
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 important. |
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music |
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limp bizkit - boiler. |
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this weekend was fun as hell, it was ambie, evan, kristi, jenny, brandon, greg, and i hanging out enjoying eachothers' company basically. it's been a really happy weekend. word up.
oh, on friday at work my manager asked if i'd wanna get trained for cash office, and that's just so cool. more hours, more money, less dealing with booshit, and i'd still be out of work by 2pm to 4pm everyday. it's alot of responsibility but i'm definitely up for it. holler.
oh, i watched the old ninja turtles cartoon yesterday at ambie's and it was awesomeeee. i forgot how awesome they were.
RAPHAEL IS COOL BUT RUDE, get a grip.
MICHELANGELO'S THE PARTY DUDE. partaaaayyyyyy.
well, i don't know how to spell their names after all this time.. but, shutup. much love.
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(1 lie | say it like you mean it)
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| haha. why. |
[16 Mar 2004|08:21pm] |
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mood |
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 all hibbity bibbity. |
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music |
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g love-unified. |
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anyway. last night was awesomeee. so good. i worked from 8 to 4 today so i'm kind of beat.. but throughout my workday, i kept thinking about shit that happened last night and just busting out laughing so it went by alittle quicker. haha.. this weekend is gonna be off the chains, i see it coming. hahaa.. aw shucks. okay well i guess that's that. peace.
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(say it like you mean it)
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[09 Mar 2004|11:55pm] |
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grateful |
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switchfoot - meant to live. |
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okay, these past couple of weeks have been extremely eventful.. it's been so great. i guess i'll attempt to write some highlights.. here goes;
[2/27/04] so, about two fridays ago.. deepsea and i planned on hanging out since we haven't lately at all ever.. so him, kyle dietz, and i went to see nick scala's band at some church in boyertown. it was pretty cool, praise god. haha, well.. then we went to taco bell cause we didn't know what else to do. then someone got an idea that we could take kyle dietz' pimpin ranger up to saint pete's around midnight and chill there or something. so we stopped at cvs or something and got flashlights.. they were cool purple ones of course. then we headed up to st. pete's and surprisingly i gave kyle directions that actually worked. we got there and it was like party-ville and shit. there were like 200 people down on the roads and in the little village by exclusive skate shop.. we like ran through the trails and climbed the mountain and talked and had an awesome night.. it was alot of fun.
[2/28/04] ambie, jess, evan & i decided to head up to zern's because we were bored as a mug. also, jess had wanted to beat the shit out of this one dude that had called evan a fag the week before. anyway, we got there.. looking for the guy's ass for jess to kick.. ambie got a blue snow cone cause she a pimp like that, and i got a garlic pretzel from auntie anne's cause i am also quite the pimp myself. we finally found that kid and the dude is like 18 years old, he hangs out with a group of like 5 kids and i'm pretty sure that he's either really really immature or half-retarded. he started yelling at jess something about a marshmallow or something completely idiotic like that.. and you know that kind of stupid shit will piss jess right the fuck off. so she went up to him and pushed him back and said something about "my name is jess wasson, i am the pimp of the century.." (that's what i imagined her saying in my mind, anyway..) and then she pushed him again and the poor kid just had to say something about her belly sticking out of her shirt when he had pushed her.. i think the word "buddha" was screamed or something, and jess proceeded the sock the shit out of the poor kid. i walked up and got her and we walked outside for a ciggerette break. haha, then two of the kids the boy was with.. (some girl our age and a hippie-lookin boy who was also our age..) came outside and like walked really quickly by us cause i guess they thought jess was gonna fuck them up too haha.. but then we told them not to be scared or anything and that there was no bad blood between us.. and that their friends was just a grunch, basically. so they were out there with us talkin.. then two boys walked by about 20 feet away and i was an asshole and yelled "come here." in a wierd voice.. because i'm wierd, i guess. and like 10 minutes later, they came back and one sat down next to me. the one kid was kind of good looking, and the one that sat down next to me was kind of creepy with like bug eyes. he just gave off a bad vibe.. namsayin. anyway, we all started talking and we had this pretty big group of kids outside of exit 38 at zerns just chillin. you know how we do. the hippie kid and the girl eventually had to leave and then we just told the 2 boys we wanted to go inside.. so they walked inside, and we RAN. really fast too. we ran into another exit and into the building. then like 30 minutes later in the arcade they found us, but we "had to go." this story could go on and on.. but my hands hurt. anyway..
[ 3/6/04 ] evan, ambie and i were so bored.. so we decided to just go to the mall and be bored there.. after about 15 minutes, we ran into brandon and greg in the food court while we were watching some bandana man playing that dancing arcade game like a complete idiot.. DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION!! or something of that nature.. anyway, we invited brandon and greg to babysit or something, and we all walked outside into brandon's car. stopped at brandon's for some selzer water haha, and just drove.. anywhere.. so, we ended up in some place called 'Stonersville" somehow.. and we laughed.. stopped at a pizza shop.. everyone (especially jess) had to pee so we ran to the bathrooms and found out that the womens' room was locked. brandon had already walked into the mens' room and jess fucking snatched him out of there and ran in to pee. we laughed some more.. we all peed.. and then we got back into brandon's car.. found ourselves' at zern's.. walked around, got pretzels, looked for unique mullets, and hmm what else did we do? oh, yeah.. we fucking found a WANTED SIGN for the wierd ass bug eyed kid we had met the other week.. seems that he had MOLESTED A 14 YEAR OLD GIRL IN THE PARKING LOT OUTSIDE OF EXIT 25 WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY TOO CLOSE TO EXIT 38.. well, atleast we thought it was him mos def, but i guess it might be someone else.. fuck it, it was definitely him okay. after that, brandon, ambie, evan, greg & i headed to the pottstown diner to meet up with kristi, matt, and ryan's little ass. we sat in the seperate room and it was one of the best atmosphere's i've ever been in haha. it was all laughter and happiness between friends and shit like that. the best. okay, after that greg, brandon, matt, and myself piled into brandon's car.. and ambie, evan, and kristi got into kristi's car and we just drove around until we stopped and i ran out to ask where "the road" was.. we followed kristi to the road to chill or whatnot and we were there for like 3 minutes before someone was like "what is that thing over there.." about this bag looking thing flapping around on the ground. matt inspected it, asked for us to come over and look and it was a fucking spine with ribs attached with like carcus hanging from it, some baby toys, and some rubber gloves all partially wrapped in childrens' sheets, and a black garbage bag. we were fucking freaked out just a bit. so uhh, we drove to giant to meet up and discuss that shit. we all peed, again. after that, we decided after like an hour to call the police and let em know. we called the actual po po station and the lady said "sorry, that's not under our jurisdiction.." so brandon asked if he could be connected to the right 5-0 station and she said "look it up." and dammit, why do most people have to have an attitude problem with everyone or mostly just teenagers and shit.. mannn. so we said fuck it and called 911, brandon and her had a conversation and they said they'd "check it out". we all just went home after that cause we were done for the night.
[ 3/7/04 ] this night, hmm.. how did it start.. okay, ambie and i went over to evan's to chilllll wit the boy. we all sat downstairs and listened to no doubt and some sublime.. we were havin fun just talking. later on we decided to go see the sunset in a field by his house. so we did. we watched it and laughed and fucking just like ran around in the field and had the best time. at one point we were running to ryan, but that's a whole other story that i'm too tired to get into with evan being a reptile and a ostrich and an ocupus that ate ambie. we just had the most amazingly fun time i think 3 people ever had together in a field at sunset. it was so beautiful out too, just like.. indescribably beautiful. i think after that we went home around 9 or something, it was an awesome day/night though, i will not be forgetting it soon.
i cannot write anymore.. i will die. if you read all that.. i commend thee. okey dokey smokey, and on that note.. i am out to watch Friday. peace out sauer crout(how the fuck do you spell that shit..). MUCH LOVE.
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(say it like you mean it)
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[18 Feb 2004|03:08pm] |
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mood |
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smiley. |
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music |
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incubus. |
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it is such a beautiful day today. i love it sooo much.
last night was fun, ambielance & i hung out and saw a hockey game then she slept over. tonight will be just as fun so that's cool. jenny and ambie together is one fun time if you ask erica. yup.
this weekend i'm in charge of babysitting 2 little ladies by the names of ashley & katie. i think ashley is 3 and a half now and i think kate is around 1 and a half. i'm gonna have even more fun hanging out with them. i love little kids.
ooooh man, this computer isn't making me waste such a beautiful day..
i'm going for a walk.
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(3 lies | say it like you mean it)
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[16 Feb 2004|07:25pm] |
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mood |
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 lonely. |
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music |
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lauryn hill - lost ones. |
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i had that meeting today for work, i wish sarah coulda sat next to me but she got there late. it was funny anyway.. we would've laughed the whole time if we sat together.. haha, ohhh.. she's a good kid.
i called ambie, her jenny evan & kristi are hanging out. that's wierd.. i never thought evan would actually do it, let alone ambie. i guess everything is gonna go back to the way it was even though i don't really feel like that's where i want to go with my life anymore. i used to feel so unproductive and lazy when we all used to be at kristi's 24/7. oh well, soon i'll get a car and an apartment and be able to start over alittle bit. i feel stuck right now and trying to help my friends out while trying to help myself isn't as easy as i wish it was.
when i called ambie my mom was like "i bet they're with kristi.." and i just let it roll off my shoulders because i'd expect that sort of comment from a cold-hearted bitch like herself, so i kept talking to ambie and i started to feel sort of left out but that's alright. anyway, and then my mom had to say "oh, and by the way.. if you were thinking that you were going to be hanging out at kristi's again.. you're wrong." and, of course.. i flipped a bit. i can only be peaceful for so much, you know?
anyway, like 2 months ago i was like "hey guys come on, why don't we give her another chance.. even though she fucked up.." because i seriously think she's a cool person even though she said some stupid shit about me.. and now i'm like "uhh, damn you're making it pretty easy for the girl. you're doing all the work for her.. you're making the calls, even though she uhh.. gave up on all of us so easily?" if i ever thought i was going to lose ambie & them i would never give up, it would'nt even be an option for me. that's just complete bullshit to give up on them. i guess i take offense to it because i do love them so dearly.. so i was pretty much just offended by her and felt alittle sad for her, too. how can you give up on your best fucking friends so easily? what is that. that's just cowardess, on her part.
eh, i don't know i guess i'm in a negative state of mind right now.. that's alright though i guess.. everything will work out eventually and i hope that everybody, including kristi, is happy in the end.
everythings gon' be arright.
well, lauryn hill is the greatest. peace.
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(7 lies | say it like you mean it)
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[04 Feb 2004|03:16pm] |
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mood |
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 fine. |
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music |
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tenacious d - tribute. |
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tonight i have the last half of my cpr class with the red cross around 6, then i'm heading over to jenny lenny's crib to chill with her and ambie and gettin our babysittin on and such. we're gonna have alot of fun, and i don't have work tomorrow which makes it even better. yeahhh buddddy. i love these kids.
upattinas appointment tomorrow, i can't wait.. everyone there is so cool. and on that note, i am out.
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(say it like you mean it)
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| worst news. |
[02 Feb 2004|03:06pm] |
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mood |
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completely shocked. |
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music |
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weezer - photograph. |
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i can't believe what i heard today. i'm so sorry that it happened. oh my god i just feel so bad right now.
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(1 lie | say it like you mean it)
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| 15 tequila shots later.. |
[31 Jan 2004|11:22pm] |
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mood |
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grateful |
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music |
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tupac - ressurection. |
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oooh man. have i been having a blast the past couple of nights..
i dont even know what to write in here, except that enjoying your youth is just what its all about. just let it all go, and have some fucking funnnnn. word.
i'll probably write more later.. but right now i need to go get my grapes because they are mmm mmm good like cambell's soup. buffalo buffalo buffalo. holler if ya hear me.
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(2 lies | say it like you mean it)
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| "As I sit here all alone, I wonder how I'm supposed to carry on when you're gone.." |
[27 Jan 2004|04:04pm] |
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mood |
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 helpless. |
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music |
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the ataris - the hero dies in this one. |
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"..As I leave here today, apartment 108
I'll always keep you in my heart.
Anderson is cold tonight,
The leaves are scattered on the ground.
I miss the seasons,
And the comfort of your smile.."
i don't know what i'm doing lately.. i don't know what i've been doing for awhile. i've been through two really shitty relationships. they werent all bad.. but it was just a bunch of bullshit. i just wanted someone, just anyone. so stupid.
"..Sometimes this all feels like a dream.
I'm waiting for someone to just wake me up,
From this life.."
fuck all of those assholes, in their stupid asses. re-evaluating my choices.. i think i've been sinking deeper and deeper relationship-wise. i remember with jake, it truly meant something amazing to me.. but then i moved onto someone that i just had fun with but there weren't many feelings involved at all, one straight up phsyco, and then one who was so absorbed in his religion but made so many huge adjustments to it just to fit his preferences.. which is just lame. what a jackass. this doesn't go against my new year's resolution to be nice and peaceful either.. so i can vent in here all i want.
"..I don't think I ever told you,
But I know you always did your best.
And the hard times,
They only made us stronger.."
man oh man, really though.. i didn't see it then, but its clear now.. they were all so insincere. it's so hard not to hold a grudge with some people..
"..Do you ever feel like crying?
Do you ever feel like giving up?
I raise my hands up towards the sky,
I say this prayer for you tonight,
Because nothing is impossible.."
i'm trying to make everything feel right again in my life, i've really been trying. i have amazing friends, an alright job.. but that'll change for the better eventually, i'm graduating soon, i'm moving out soon, getting my car really soon.. i still feel that void for him. for once in my life, i don't think i'm going to get what i truly want back this time nomatter how hard i try.. man, i don't know.. i guess this is where i should shut up. i don't want to sound too pathetic and have you throw up all over yourselves..
well, on a good note.. this is a really great song.
"..As I sit here all alone,
I wonder how I'm suppose to carry on when you're gone.
I'll never be the same without you,
I love you more then you will ever know.
So maybe now you finally know.."
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(2 lies | say it like you mean it)
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[26 Jan 2004|01:38pm] |
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mood |
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 irritated |
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music |
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incubus - just a phase. |
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I don't want to talk to you anymore
I'm afraid of what I might say
I bite my tongue everytime you come around
Cause blood in my mouth beats blood on the ground.
i really hope kieth doesn't let physco ass turtle play on Curbstompers next season.. because as much as i say that i'll refuse to play.. i just have to. and i do not want to sit on the same bench as that piece of shit excuse for a person. he doesn't deserve to play with us. this is all not even worth the stress, i need to calm down..
breath.
okay, i'm better. maybe he'll die before the season starts..
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(say it like you mean it)
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[25 Jan 2004|09:23pm] |
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mood |
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nostalgic |
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music |
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value and quality - scars like diamonds. |
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i'm getting so far with my history.. word upppp.
i just found my old value and quality cd.. i still remember most of the names to the songs.. i don't know if this is one of the ones i remember the name to though.. haha, this brings back so many memories.. man oh man. i miss all that so much. but i guess all good things had to come to a painfully abrupt end. ahh, i miss that shit though. even though i fucked some things up back then.. i guess everyone got what they wanted. i think i was just too young to manage everything at once and do the right things.. ah, i don't even know what i'm talking about anymore..
tomorrow i work at 8, then i need to find keith a present for his birthday on friday. i'm kind of lost.. i'm sure i'll think of something, i've known the dude for a thousand years..
back to more work.. take care.
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punkrokpromqwn's journal
tired.
fine.